cry_me_ariver

I heart Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 16:29:16 GMT

This weekend, I finally finished downloading some recent Saturday Night Live episodes. First off, it's hilarious how much shorter they are with the commercial breaks cut out. Now if they would only start cutting the crappy bands...

It's clear that SNL has somehow reached a new level of "good" again over the last couple of years. It started last year with Natalie Portman's rap song, which led to "Dick in a box", which gave way to the amazing "My Box in a Box", a fan film INSPIRED BY an SNL skit. You know you're back on track when a bunch of film students make something quality like that (It really is high quality... anybody who hasn't seen "My Box in a Box", or any of these other items should book a date with YouTube).

And now they've reached a point where it's actually worth watching the whole show again (mostly). This is mostly due to Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler, who are really just a cut above everybody else on the cast. Maya's the woman with rose opening the package and mouthing "Thank You" in Dick in the Box, and also played Charlotte in the unbelievably funny "Sex and the City" spoof with Christina Aguilera. She can pack so much into her expression without even speaking and then add all kinds of parody through her voice. Maya Rudolph's a genius.

So is Amy Poehler. In addition to being the best Weekend Update Anchor in years - she's a caustic and serious with her delivery as Stephen Colbert - she is now appearing in "Blades of Glory". Loved. This. Movie. Not as jam-packed as "Talladega Nights", nor as sharp as "40 year old virgin", but just an unapologetically silly parade of great sight gags and absurd character studies. Everybody in this is hilarious, but Amy Poehler was especially on task playing a prima donna figure skater who will do anything to stay in the limelight. Her indignant/graceful lunacy was fun to watch, especially when she would pirouette across her apartment as if she were on skates. Pure magic!

Worried about BSG

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 19:33:08 GMT

As many of you know, I'm a fan of the new series of Battlestar Gallactica. Heck, I may even be the person who introduced you to the show, or who introduced it to the people who introduced it you. I was a major proponent from the get-go, since starting with the mini-series that started it, and continuing through the first season (which won Emmy awards) and even most of the second season, the writing of the show was top-notch, and the writing was backed up by excellent performances from both the well-known cast members as well as the new talent. In short, every episode was stellar. I even remember having an argument with a friend of mine, presenting this show as everything Star Trek and Farscape and Buffy weren't - niche programming for the die-hard fans. BSG started out as, and remained for a long time, consistently well conceived drama with true originality and the kind of broad appeal that comes from excellence.

I wish this were still the case. This season, the ratings for BSG have steadily declined, and I have a good idea why. I think the change in schedule as well as the split season format is partially to blame. But I can't shake the feeling that an even bigger reason is that the writing has just fallen off of a cliff. The show has lately become self-derivative (like Buffy), overly involved with endless character study (pick a Star Trek series), and often just plain ill-conceived or even nonsensical in plot points (later episodes of Farscape). Basically, all of the things I used to love it for not doing are now commonplace on BSG. I'm noticing this stuff and I love the show, so it has really been no surprise to see it getting bashed week after week by critics.

So, first there were several episodes to suffer through that really that served no purpose but to flesh out characters in ways that we either already knew about, or which didn't serve any visible function in the main story line, and which strain credulity past the breaking point. We had a rebellion on the fuel refinery ship which took a whole hour to get to the point of "do it or else", yet *another* Kara-has-this-fate-appointed-destiny show, which resulted in Kara taking part in some scripted-out messianic prophecy, only to have her ship explode in a toxic atmosphere. We had a medical emergency that was handled by people without a scrap of bio-gear which only served the purpose of introducing and then expelling a character with no bearing on anything or anybody, and on reinforcing a social stratification issue once again. I guess so Baltar's newfound "finger on the pulse of the common people" mentality which came out of nowhere, and is completely unjustified by anything in his character development (not to mention that he's been isolated either in prison or with the Cylons for weeks and weeks and was a snobbish recluse before)..

After all this, we finally get to two pretty good episodes that bring the show back to doing some amount of addressing its motivating story arc. But even in these episodes, there are some major problems that are just so unnecessary that it still feels like it's slipping. I mean, if this is what it's like even when it's back on, then we're in trouble. First, there's a woman who tells Dr. Baltar that she believes he can heal her child. Not as a medical doctor, but as a faith healer. Then they quickly establish this as a pattern by saying its been happening a few times. Gee, awfully convenient way to not have to explain why this might be, and I dunno... give it an ounce of believability. And then we have four of the "final five" cylons revealed. And it's a bunch of people in key positions (not to give anything away). And their reactions notwithstanding, I have a hard time believing the convenience of where they ended up in the fleet, in jobs, etc. But I'm willing to give them an out on this, since I can actually imagine how either there's a plot-driven reason they maneuvered themselves into such positions (a little difficult since they didn't know their own natures), or a plot-driven reason it wouldn't matter what position they were in. We shouldn't have to dream up the reason, but as long as they supply it later (and if it makes sense, which has me worried...), then ok.

But let's examine for a minute how they found out. A song, which only they could hear, started to sound like it was fading in and out. This in itself was kind of cool, since we know the "sleeper agent" cylons think they're human until they receive some trigger that wakes them up. The more we, the viewer, saw them hear the sound and act strangely compelled by it, the more it dawned on us what they might be. Only, right at the moment of the reveal, they start to quote the lyrics of the song, and it's ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER. The song is not background music. They're actually singing it - as in, the characters; the cylons are singing a blues-inspired rock song.

So let me get this straight. 3000 years after Earth is colonized by a breakaway group of people from this part of the galaxy - never to be seen again (the only evidence of them has been a 3000 year old space probe) - Artificial Intelligence life forms trigger a programmed response using A SONG FROM 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ROCK MUSIC. Now leaving aside a minute the questionable nature of using *any* song after U2 covered it, I'd like someone to explain to me how the hell this would ever, ever, ever be possible.

The culture of the "Twelve Colonies of Kobol" was applauded as one of the finer points in the first season or two of BSG. And they did a really great job of integrating it's basic premises and art direction and assumptions into every part of the show without hitting us over the head with a hammer to do it. The basic idea, for those who don't know, is that this culture - the religion, politics, even their names. etc.- was the forerunner to Greek Civilization. Just sufficiently advanced and preserved intact. Unlike on Earth, where things went in a different direction, cultures presumably shifted, and gave rise to several thousand years of different things. Then America. Then AMERICAN ROCK MUSIC. And the song "All along the watchtower".

So for those keeping score, that's people on earth with 2 (or more) versions of all along the watchtower, and people WITH NO CONTACT WITH EARTH FOR OVER 3000 YEARS... also one version? I'm sorry. That doesn't add up. Any way you slice it, this is no different from Klingons claiming Shakespeare was Klingon. Trek fans love the show so much they explain it away. "It's cute, it's funny, and fans can overlook that it's completely ridiculous." What's next for BSG: Britney Spears? Episodes of Seinfeld? Excitement over the Sox winning the world series? Sounds retarded, I know, but any more or less than AAtW? At least when Farscape had crap like this, they actually had a character from Earth to explain what it was doing there.

You can care about this glaring error or not. But you just can't argue for the inclusion of this song as a good idea in the context of the series. It's utterly indefensible and just drags down a show that used to not make rookie mistakes like this.

And on top of all this, they now have Kara back. In her undamaged fighter craft that we the viewer and one of the characters saw explode in the atmosphere of a planet they went out of their way to say couldn't support life. If she's not the last cylon, they'd better have a damn good reason for this as well, or even more people will start to jettison a show that's lost all respect for viewer intelligence.

I hear it's going to be a year or so before the 4th season airs. Maybe that's a good thing... before the ratings sink the thing completely. Fans need some extra time to forget the show's recent clunkiness, and the producers clearly need extra time to get their act together and deliver decent writing again.

Anybody keep watching (or tune in) after the President?

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 15:14:59 GMT

Because if you did, you'd have seen Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) deliver an ass-kicking response speech for the Democrats! It made enduring the the SotU so much easier knowing Webb, a published author and the man who ejected Jim Allen (the idiot who called a journalist "macaca") last November, would be the guy on point for the Democratic rebuttal. My favorite line was the last: "and if he doesn't [comply with scaling down in Iraq] we will show him the way." I also appreciated that he called the president out for wanting additional time, additional troops and additional money after "enduring four years of a mismanaged war". Great stuff. You can read up at:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070124/ap_on_go_pr_wh/state_of_union_democrats

Also, you can check out the full video of Webb's speech, as well as Senator Obama's comments this morning on ABC news at:

http://news.yahoo.com/

The videos are in a gray box on the right-hand side of the page. Enjoy!

Nice funny start to the morning

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 15:52:25 GMT

Anyone who has seen a single episode of 24, or has a vague idea how the show works from watching ads for it should click the following link. One of the funniest deodorant ads I've ever seen, and the deodorant is never even mentioned.

http://www.degreemen.com/men/cturookie/?siteid=dm

Trust me: it's worth it.

Colbert and O'Reilly finally together on one show!

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 15:35:54 GMT

If you didn't get to see "The Colbert Report" last night, here's a recap of one of my favorite moments in Colbert's lampooning of the Right Wing:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070119/ap_en_tv/tv_colbert_o_reilly

Both shows are definitely worth downloading via BitComet, BitTorrent etc. Instant classics!

Bad Grammar or language shift?

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 18:11:04 GMT

Here is a copied post from Inara Serra that I think brings up an interesting set of issues about language that I'd like to respond to a bit. Be warned! It's a slow day at work, so I had some time to get into it. But it was worth it, because I've been thinking about this particular issue for a long time. And there are some links. And a couple of little jokes. So, not totally boring. I promise!

To start, here's the relevant clip from her blog entry:

The English language is a beautiful thing. Unless it's used badly. There are a few things that drive me insane, as a person who writes, reads, and thinks critically. Now, there are grammatical mistakes that we all make, and typos are inevitable. That said, there's no excuse for some grammatical errors. For example: You're and your. You're is a contraction of the words you and are, "you're a great person"; your is possessive 'your dog is sleepy'. So if you say "your a good person" my answer is 'my who is a good person?' you see the problem. Another one: there, they're, and their. There is a direction "there are fourteen eggs in my refrigerator"; they're is again, a contraction of the words they and are, "They're a fun bunch of guys"; their is a possessive, "their house was really expensive". So if you say "their is a white house" I get confused. Yet another one: two, too, and to. This can't be explained quite as easily but I'll give you the correct usages, "There are two apples in this basket"; "I have apples too."; "Can we go to get apples?", so if you say, "I have apples to." my question is "You have apples to where?"

Finally a slightly different grammatical error that I hear ALL the time and it drives me crazy: one of the only. This is not a correct statement in any situation. Ever. It's a statement saying that there can be more than one only. Which completely negates the meaning of only. You can say 'one of only four' or you can say 'one of the few' but you can never ever say 'one of the only'.

Now I agree, the "your" and "there" thing is nuts, and you see it incorrect all the time from people who presumably know how to write, sometimes wrong more than one way in a single piece. Email, internet message board instances are bad enough (and maybe partially to blame), though I can give a break to someone blasting out a quick reply or post. But in newspapers? Publications? There are only two generally accepted uses of "there": directional as above, or as part of an impersonal construction ("Are there cups?" "Yes there are"), and only one use of "their" and "they're". Not that hard, and seen in print all the time.

But these are writing rules, and the community of people who write and print and publish overwhelmingly try to follow these rules and watch to see who isn't following the rules (to snicker and point!) and a whole set of industries exist (editors, english departments) to help keep people from tripping over these rules and looking like they "don't know how to write". And this is why it looks so strange to see basic errors starting to crop up more often. We're not used to slack writing slipping past editors and onto the page, and so it grates as a drop in standards. Writing is supposed to follow the "rules" more closely because it is static (compared to speaking) and is supposed to be "composed". Spelling and punctuation rules are treated even more rigorously, because they exist only for writing.

This "One of the Only" issue though... As a phrase, this would be even more subject to the whims of spoken language usage than vocabulary, which is pretty damn susceptible to shifting around. Check out the following article from the repository of english language mistakes at WSU:

http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~brians/errors/only.html

Common practice dictates how phrases work in the spoken vernacular, and then these uses drive grammatical reality much more quickly. "Irregardless of the fact" has been "incorrect" forever, and yet more people use some version of this every day. The result, of course, will be that this becomes "correct" in the sense of "accepted" and it will within x number of years, be in dictionaries, which I think is terrible, but which other people will simply use to prove they can play it in scrabble. On the flipside, many people have argued that "stupider" and "stupidest" are not the "correct" comparative and superlatives of "stupid", and yet, these forms are in every dictionary to be found. When I point this out, people say it doesn't "sound right" and I can't really argue with that. It's just that common current usage no longer supports these forms in any frequency.

And any linguist will tell you that language evolution (or devolvement, depending on one's point of view) is all about frequency and prevalence of usage. As horrible as it would sound to my ears, "more/most stupid" will probably at least join, if not supplant, "stupider/stupidest" within my lifetime. Is it wrong? I don't think so. It's just how language truly works. Think of how different "slut" "whore" and "nazi" are now from where they were say, in the 50's. I'm pretty sure nobody would have taken kindly to being called a "Sci-fi slut" or the "copier nazi" (not that there were copiers...). And yet, if it's done right now (Seinfeld's "soup nazi"), we call it great dialog.

I think that's what's behind "one of the only". How different is it really to get from "There are only 8 teams left in the NFL playoffs" to "New England is one of only 8 teams left" to "New England is one of the only teams left"? Evidently for a lot of people, it's not that far. Since "only 8" and "one of only 8" can look right, I don't think common acceptance of the last is very far off. It certainly isn't that far for sportscasters, since I hear this kind of talk all the time. It must not be that far for their fans or even competitors, since they don't ridicule the ones who use it into stopping.

The idea that "Only" or the phrase "the only" only means what only means now is at the heart of the issue. But despite that meaning can shift. I'm not saying it should or shouldn't - just that it does happen. And according to Ferdinand de Saussure, a pioneer of modern language analysis, this happens all the time due to the "Arbitrary nature of the sign", the currently generally accepted theory that the relationship between signifier (a word or expression) and the signified (the idea being expressed) is arbitrary, and is a result of a preponderance of people agreeing implicitly or explicitly on that relationship. For more than you could ever want to know about de Saussure and why he's considered the father of modern linguistics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_de_Saussure . Here's an illustrative quote: The concept of arbitrariness of linguistic signs is relativized in word formation, e.g. in compounds such as living room or in onomatopoeic expressions (onomatopoeia) such as miaow or crash.

The same thing happens with shift in established words and phrases. For instance, "Nice" used to mean "foolish/ignorant" (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=nice), but has gone through all sorts of new assignments and now can mean quite a few different things (much like "fine" or "mission accomplished") in various contexts. But nobody would suggest that when we wish someone to "have a nice day" we are suggesting they go become temporarily ignorant. The meanings and assumptions have changed with the times, regardless of what was originally intended.

And the rules have had to keep up with what people say and how they say it, not the other way around.

Federal Gov't Closes early for National Holiday

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 00:04:14 GMT

That's right, it's....

MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Woo-hoo!

Please feel free to shower me with gratuitous expressions of love, outpourings of appreciation, demands for more attention to your journal posts (I know i've been slacktastic here, but you know I always catch up when you get those comments from me on six week old issues), promises of "naked sexytime" as Borat would say, or whatever floats you. Wicked burns also welcome!

Well, I'm off to have the lovely Sarah treat me to dinner, a movie, and with any luck, a birthday paddling!

Democrats take House AND Senate!

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 03:31:36 GMT

Hello there!

Great news about the elections, eh? Soooooo many great outcomes! Claire McCaskill even won in MO and then Tester taking MT and Webb taking VA (announced a few minutes ago... Yeaaaaahhh baby!) was so sweeeeet! I'll bet the Republicans never in their wildest nightmares thought we would run the table on those six races. Just beautiful! Then today, DONALD RUMSFELD RESIGNS!!! If I wasn't so sick and full of mucus attacking chemical compounds, all of this would have given me a big Man-gasm.

I wish I could have been there for the "come over so I can congratulate you on your victory" breakfast that he invited Nancy Pelosi to. You know that had to really sting.

*Sigh* this election was the best medicine of all, it's true, but I still haven't been able to kick this damn cold yet, not even with an inhaler. It sucks big time. I wish my white cells would get back from summer vacation.

Anyone else see the Daily Show/Colbert Report "Midterm Midtacular"? If you didn't, it's worth checking it out on comedy central. They have the whole thing up for free. It was hilarious!

Great Election Night So Far

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 02:59:15 GMT

Well, this is really just a quick post because I'm still completely wiped out with the plague. I'm on 4 different medicines, including an inhaler. So, to anyone I haven't written to, or responded to here, I'm really sorry, but my brain's been a ghost town lately, without even a spaghetti western film crew in sight.

I looked at the election results so far and it appears that several key races are going our way. I'm pretty sure we'll take the house, and will get very close in the senate.

I'm especially happy that Rick Santorum is going bye-bye!!! Yep, it's official, Rick, you can now officially join God Hates Fags, because you won't be able to work your mojo in the senate anymore! Bob Casey may not be the best guy out there, but he beat Scumbag Santorum, and that works for me.

Looks like Webb may hang on to pull the massive upset in Virgina. It's still really close, and they can't call it yet. Even if we don't get it, Menendez took New Jersey, where he was down in the poll this morning, which is great, because the Grand Oil Party spent oodles of cash there. Similarly,worth mentioning), KATHERINE HARRIS got her ass handed to her in Florida! Looks like she won't even crack 40%. LOL. Best of all, Ned Lamont is holding a 3% lead over Lieberman in CT, which means we'll get a real Democrat in that seat if the numbers continue to play out that way. Also, Dems appear to be running away with quite a few governor's races (Yay for John Baldacci taking Maine, and John Lynch retaining NH).

UPDATE: Sherrod Brown just unseated Mike DeWine in OH! And we're up by 20 seats in declared House battles. It's a good night, a good night for me and my drowsy drugs.

the afterhaze

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:57:34 GMT

*Sigh*

I'm writing this so very tired and so very giddy/happy. My body is currently flooding my cells with all kinds of reward endorphines and they are bouncing around with a 22 hour date's worth of a woman's very cloying, very sneaky, very welcome pheremones. Coupled with a lack of sleep this whole week, I just feel like every neuron is smoldering nicely.

So, I'm feeling useless right now, but serenely content.

LJ hi-fives are very welcome, and when I stop grinning and spacing out, i'll send my thanks!

Best album since... their last album

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 15:16:20 GMT

Evanescence's recently released "The Open Door" has been running non-freakin-stop in my car since it Amazon.com'd its way into my hands last Thursday. It's the best overall start-to-finish CD I've had in a long time. Sure, there are bands I like more, and songs I like more than individual songs, but the overall effect is like a really great book. Each song propels you to the next song, and yet each is excellent individually, like a collection of Lorrie Moore or Barry Hannah stories. The songs sound so different, but are tied together with a level of quality and consistent polish that matches up well with Amy Lee's vocals, which are improved even over their last effort, "Fallen". The writing is better here too, but in another similarity to the previous album, the feeling of "epic, emotional, important" communications with self and lover touches every track too, and that gives another feeling of unity to seemingly unrelated song lyrics. And it's done without feeling like the bitter notebook scratchings of some kid in a highschool study hall (I'm looking at YOU, Bright Eyes). Because of that, I can believe in the dramatic qualities of the singing (the painful cracks of voice, the powerful accusations, etc) enough to follow the development of the implied stories behind songs like "Lithium" or the explicit stories in songs like "Weight of the World" or "Call Me When You're Sober". Great music from start to finish. I haven't been able to take it out for close to a week now, even with my ooh-a-shiny-thing attention span.

Well, it's back to catching up on the LJs of others and more nervous flirting via MySpace...

Mike Skupin visits C'dale and short review of "The Prestige".

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 13:54:11 GMT

Last night, Mike Skupin, one of the stars of "Survivor: The Australian Outback" came to SIU to host the finale of SIU's survivor-like "Ulitmate Saluki Challenge". The Tribal Council portion of the night, which involved the final three contestants felt a little stilted and disconnected, since nobody who hadn't directly observed all three days worth of challenges/competition etc had no idea beyond a little 4 minute montage they played before hand, which gave no idea how the game unfolded. They say it's going to air on local tv soon, but now I know the outcome, so it was a little retarded to organize it that way.

The great part of the night was that after this, Mike Skupin gave a presentation on his Survivor experiences. Skupin was the guy who passed out while stoking the coals of the fire, and fell into the coals up to his elbows. He woke up 15 seconds later screaming and ran into the river to immerse his hands. When the medics pulled him out, you could see how badly burned he was. The speech he gave surrounding events leading up to this and then after during his recovery was phenomenal. I would even go so far as to say that he seriously shifted my perspective about a few things I had taken for granted. Yes, I *did* just write that.

This guy was seriously some kind of genius, and came out of the other side of his experience on the show and then having to leave it and go through months of recovery with a renewed and positive, proactive, perspective that I found to be leaps and bounds beyond the usual "motivational poster" aphorisms, or trite public service announcements to "believe you can do anything". I guess it was because he really got into the nuts and bolts of how he, personally, dug deep to find answers to how to go on, not give up, and rise up to overcome hopelessness to recover full use of his hands, which even his own surgeons didn't think was possible. The very detailed psychological and emotional history of the ordeal was fascinating.

Now I'm not saying this didn't also hold celeb appeal for me. I'm a huge Survivor fan, and it was cool to meet him. But I wasn't expecting more than "oh yeah, i'm the guy who fell in the fire", so this was definitely a real treat, and much better than going home to watch the family guy repeat...

...speaking of which, you guys should click the following YouTube link and watch this incredibly hilarious clip from last season. One of the all-time great sequences of FG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN6WRxcdF2A

And lastly, yesterday, I went to see the movie, "The Prestige" and I recommend it. It's a fascinating mystery based around a game of cat and mouse
between two rival Illusionist magicians. I guess what I liked most about this movie is the structure of the plot. It's very unconventional in how it unfolds the story, but doesn't call attention to it's technique in any way that doesn't also serve the story. Also, the characters are all very original, and their personal motivations and flaws gave them a more rounded treatment than you usually get. I honestly never lost interest, not even when presented with amazingly beautiful Scarlett Johanssen, who looks supernaturally beautiful in "magician's assistant" corset-wear and other period-specific clothing
and make-up. A great time, overall, especially if you like the kind of movie that makes you want to take out a pad of paper and try to work out what's going on. Which is essentially what *both* characters are doing simultaneously.

Yeah, the movie's got me seriously geeked-out, but that's nothing new.

LJ goes Russian!

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 13:26:30 GMT

Привет!

I guess Russian users are the second largest community on LJ now, so LJ has decided to create fully functional Russian features. This should mean even more Russian LJs for me to troll looking to practice reading and picking up humor/slang etc., and now I'll be able to post without doing cut and paste, like the above for "hello".

And that should help me even more with my upcoming dates (at least I think I've arranged for a date. I'm 90% sure that's what I asked her and about 70% sure that she said yes and then suggested some ideas for meeting up, which I'm really hoping she'll repeat) with Leya, a Russian doctor in the strippercise class. Heck, even if it's just "cultural and linguistic exchange" then I'll be really happy. On the other hand, I *think* I've noticed since we've started talking that she gives me "a look" while doing her moves. Not that I'm looking, fine upstanding citizen that I am...

Eragon!

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 16:05:03 GMT

OMFGZ!

Eragon is being produced as a major motion picture! Check out this awesome trailer:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449010/trailers-screenplay-E29123-10-2

I'm so excited over this. This is an adaptation of a book written by a 17 year old that was one of the most original YA titles to come out in about 10 years. If the movie is anything like the book you won't be able to put it down... not too sure how that will work in a theater :)

Those of you who have been following the saga of the computer: These mofos still haven't sent me the correct part. Though I *did* get another wrong part yesterday. It's almost 10 days since somebody from the corporate office got involved, and they still have no idea what they're doing. Isn't that great?

another fun quiz to keep me self-involved (and loving it!)

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 18:15:10 GMT

Daring, confident, animalistic

You like to have a lot of sex and try a lot of things. You are very kinky and have a lot of confidence in yourself. You like to explore all aspects of sexuality because it is something that interests you a lot.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 19:06:50 GMT

Of course I'm going to put this behind a cut, because it's really long. This is the letter I faxed to the President of Alienware at the Corporate Office in Miami. In it, I quote the most recent response from Alienware which borders on fraud and is certainly a lie, and then my response to that, and then some comments for corporate to basically give them a chance before I report them to the BBB, the attorney general, and register a domain name such as www.alienwaresucks.com which is already taken by a guy who had a similar situation. Enjoy...

To the President of Alienware:

I (Derand Wright, acct# 282433) am extremely sorry to have to write this to you again. It seems that there is a very severe problem facing customers trying to get anything accomplished through you customer service department. Here is the latest letter I received from Mr. Vindas, which as you can imagine left me drop-jawed:
____________________________
Thank you for contacting the Alienware Technical Support Team.

We would like to offer you our most sincere apologies for the problems you have experienced with your computer, and at the same time, assure you this is not the 'Alienware experience’ our clients are accustomed to.

It seems that there has been a misunderstanding. After further research, we found that the video card was shipped on 9/27/06 and the tracking number was 717778421537. The FedEx information page shows that it was signed for by D.RUTHERD.

The address we used to ship the video card is:

Again, we apologize for the misunderstanding and hope that the person who signed for it will be able to locate the video card you were expecting.
Best regards,

Adrian Vindas
______________________________

This, of course, is absolutely unacceptable. I had already on numerous occasions confirmed that your company is aware that this shipment contained the wrong part. And my response, which I hope you will read and very carefully consider, was the following:

*****************************************
Mr. Vindas,

There has been no misunderstanding.

The video card in question was not shipped to me. Check the notes. I called after this very shipment was sent to report that the wrong part was shipped in the box. I have spoken with Jackie and Kate regarding this.Mr. Urena's email to me even confirms that replacement is to be sent for "wrong part".   And I *know* that your notes reflect this, because I have confirmed this at every step of the way with your representatives over the phone. Why, for instance, would order 960182 have been placed *after* the 9/27 shipment, and why would Mr. Urena have confirmed that this part was to be sent?    I have the invoice with the incorrect customer's information in it and the part intended for him.   Your company knows all of this.

I am severely disappointed that Alienware continues to waste my time in this manner.   It is inappropriate after the amount of time I have put into this to find out that you expect me to go back and re-explain what I am positive you already have on file. Your attempts to obstruct me in seeing to it that you fulfill your end of a legally binding contract will not be tolerated.

I am still willing to allow you to fix this, but your solution must be immediate. If I cannot get satisfaction from you on this TODAY, I will fax your corporate office with a copy of the letter you sent me after knowing full well what the status of that order on 9/27 was. I will then contact Dell to inform them of this entire story and explain that this is why I am reporting your company to the Florida Better Business Bureau, and submitting a complaint to the Attorneys General of both Florida and Illinois regarding your failure to provide a contracted and paid service despite verbal and written confirmation that you would do so.   All of these agencies will receive copies of Alienware documents, including the incorrect invoice that you sent with the part, as will that customer.   And you can rest assured that every possible news source that deals with the computer industry will have a letter written to them and that I will publish my experiences in every possible manner on the internet.

I trust I make myself clear. If you have any desire to provide the "Alienware Experience" of which you speak in your letter below, now is the time to do it.
***************************************

I have faxed your office twice before regarding this matter to the corporate office, addressed to whoever has oversight authority for Customer Service. Somebody there should have copies of these so that you can see what I have been going through and maybe come to an understanding of why I have run out of faith that anybody there will honor Alienware’s commitment to provide good service. It is very troubling that these are the measures to which a client who put his trust in your company would have to go to get a very simple matter resolved, but it will be even more troubling if even contacting your office produces no results.

If that proves to be the case, I will have no choice but to make good on the promise to seek a solution from outside of Alienware, and to do whatever I can possibly do to inform the appropriate agencies and the general public of my experiences and your company’s responses to them. I sincerely hope however, that somebody at your level will prove to me that Alienware cares about its clients, and that the leadership at least will act to correct a bad situation and make it up to a customer who has dealt with them in all good faith.

I look forward to hearing back from you. Please show me that my belief that Alienware could be believed in and trusted was not misplaced.

OMFGZ These guys are the worst

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:18:48 GMT

So, all I can say about this is LOL. It's seriously comical at this point. Here is a letter I received from Alienware yesterday:

Thank you for contacting the Alienware Technical Support Team.

I am very sorry that the BFG NVIDIA GEFORCE 6800 GT 256MB PCIE is currently out of stock.

Please be advised to contact our very knowledgeable and supportive Customer Service Team at 1-866-287-6727 (option 3) regarding estimated times of arrival of missing items to our facilities and possible shipping date of your order.

All of this after I've been promised, had confirmations, assurances, etc. ... two days later they tell me it's not only out of stock, and not only that, I have to call them to see what can be done and basically how long it will take. And I should point out that the extension they direct you to in the email is wrong.

So, today I faxed off 6 pages of a letter describing this whole thing, including emails, etc. to their corporate office with questions like "is this how your company wants to present itself?" etc. and basically making it clear that after 38 days and over 8 hours on the phone, it was unacceptable to still not have a solution, etc. This could go one of two ways. Either they can send me back a letter or email wussing out and saying "we're sorry you're unhappy but there isn't anything we can do" or someone higher up will kick some asses and get it taken care of. If not, I'm going to send the story to about 17 different magazines, and report them for breach of contract (not that that would do much good, but still..), and to the BBB... and post to several review websites, and put up a webpage, etc.

Which still leaves me screwed, I know that. But I'm not going down without a fight!

Can you believe I'm still working on Alienware Crap???

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 20:32:25 GMT

Yep, that's right. It's all still going on. They have no idea how to provide good service. After they finally admitted they had to do something about this, they sent me a confirmation email... confirming they would be sending... THE WRONG PART!!! So I had to write and call again, and although they said they were going to send the actual correct part, they still haven't sent a confirmation that they have shipped the thing.

But that's all I'm going to say about that. For now. It's been a bizarre week. and it's only Wednesday...

Monday night, at STRIPPERCISE... it's Derand 1 DumbBitch 0... One of the rude commentors from the previous week took up position with her friend basically right in front of me the whole time. The whole time, she kept giving me rude looks and chatting with her friend. At the end of the session, when I was walking over to help them put away their stuff, she turns to her friend and snickers "bet he really gets off on this". To which I turned to one of the nicer women and said, "Yeah, it's my dream to spend an hour hanging out with snotty people who think they're too good for me to help them for free".

Today, I discovered that Chloe Sevigny, who some of you know as Nikki on Big Love, appeared in a movie "Brown Bunny" in which she apparently engages in actual (non-faked) sex acts (i.e. porn). Hmmm... how do I log into my Blockbuster Online queue again?

OMFG Alienware sucks so bad!

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 04:25:34 GMT

Here is just a quick little tidbit of how Alienware, 35 days after initially reporting that a part was defective, is still fucking with my life. First off, I was having a fairly kickass evening, having seen "Jet Li's Fearless" with M and K (honestchick ). I really enjoyed everything about this movie, especially after I loved "Hero" so much. So, I was riding pretty high when I came home.

Now, earlier in the day, I had spent over an hour demanding to speak with a customer service manager, because after returning the *defective* video card they had sent me before, they sent me the wrong fucking part. So I talk with these retards on the phone and the woman asks "well, did you try to install the card?" And I said, "um, no, what you sent me isn't a video card" and she asks if I'm sure at which point I tell her that I am not an idiot, that I can tell what a video card looks like. So, we go around a little bit, and at the end of it, she tells me she is going to send me a new card, that will be here by Tuesday, they'll get it out today, etc. She at first offers me a T-Shirt to make up for this, but after hearing what I thought of a T-Shirt in exchange for 5 weeks without them doing what they're supposed to be doing, she offers a 100$ amazon.com gift card. So I accept this, but make her assure me that she will take care of this and send me the card by Tuesday and guarantee me that it will be correct and functional.

So tonight, I come home and have this email with an attached Fedex waybill link. The letter reminds me that I need to send them the part before they'll send me the replacement. This made me nervous, so I called up Alienware to have them check the notes to make sure she was going to do what she said she would. NOTHING ABOUT WHAT SHE TOLD ME. The notes say that she processed a swap order at my request. Nothing about sending the part to me, nothing about amazon.com. She just flatout lied.

So I asked the guy who I should talk to, i.e. who her supervisor was, and he didn't know. When i asked who to speak with, he said "a customer service manager". He didn't seem happy when I suggested that Customer Service was not to be trusted. But what can you do when you get to management and they lie to you and waste your time? How many hours can you sink into a shit-ass company that won't honor their service that you paid for?

I'm so fucking pissed about this. I'd like to think I could just call up and speak with somebody above customer service, but I just know that's going to take a shitload of my time. What a waste.

did he say Strippercise?

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 13:59:07 GMT

Yes that's right! Among the many, many things that have been going on lately, c_m_a is now "muscle" at the Rec Center for Strippercise. My friend, Teya, who is in the Mythology class teaches "Strippercise" -which means exactly what it sounds like- and was having problems with guys congregating around the windows and doors staring pointing and making crude gestures (like tongue flapping, which I didn't believe until I saw it). So now I stand by the door and basically just stare back at guys and stand in their view and you'd be surprised how easily this makes them just walk away. At first (last week) some of the women in there gave me dirty or weird looks and some had comments, but last night, Teya announced me and what I was doing there and now it's fine.

And I have to say, for all it would *sound* like a great idea to be around 60-100 girls gyrating around, stretching, working those hips, swaying around a pole, and in general acting like they're at Stripper Academy (which is the point- Teya explains all the moves in their stripper context) etc... In practice, it's actually really nerve-wracking to be there. It's very difficult to *not* look and have my eye caught and brain scrambled for a few seconds. And even though Teya sold this to me as "the best show in Carbondale", I feel sort of guilty when I do. BUT DAMMIT, *YOU* TRY NOT BEING DAZZLED BY SOME OF THAT!!!

Some of the girls still look at me like I'm a barely interesting form of tree, and I get the feeling they'd be warmer about it if I were "hotter". I am after all there by invitation, and do actually have a near total effect on the ogling dudes. At least I'm not doing that staring and drooling routine. Oh well, I guess some people are just retarded.

OTHER NOTE: I STILL don't have my computer up and running, but I should have it all set by this weekend and I have worked out the issues with my transfer to the new account. If I haven't received/responded to emails sent to me after the email change, just give me a poke or a resend and I'll write back.

I Knew It...

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 20:32:54 GMT

What Is Your Role In A Relationship? (Male and Female, detailed results with Anime Pics!)

You are the Hopeless Romantic

You are into the good old fashioned wining and dining, flowers and chocolates approach to relationships. An ideal date for you would start with a meal in a fancy restaurant and end wandering down the beach hand in hand as the sun sets.

You want to be someone's white knight one day, and dream of spending the rest of your life with someone, loving and caring for them. You are committed, generous and not afraid of love and showing it.

You always handle your relationships carefully, as the last thing you would want to do is break someone's heart. You always take things slowly, taking the time to make everything magical. Some people won't appreciate your efforts, and those with a more business approach to relationships will become easily bored with the attention you lavish on them, but there are plenty of people out there dying to meet someone like you to spend the rest of their life with, so go out there and find the one for you!

Most compatible with: The Insecure

The Insecure will never want to hear the end of all you have to tell them of love. They would listen to a thousand of the poems you write for them and still want to hear the rest you have stashed away in your drawer! You love making people feel special, and the Insecure wants you to do just that for them. You could have something really beautiful together.

Least compatible with: The Cynic

You are all about love and displaying it, privately, publicly, wherever. The Cynic doesn't believe in love, particularly not in the traditional sense of the word, so you would bang heads every step of the way in a relationship. Not very destructive as bad relationships go, but not exactly productive either.

Your song is: She Will Be Loved, Maroon 5

Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Well this was a neat test...

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 15:03:05 GMT

My Personality


Neuroticism	19
Extraversion	61
Openness To Experience	98
Agreeableness	94
Conscientiousness	75

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
Find your soulmate / pysch twin

hi5, MySpace Surveys and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

You are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone. You are generally calm and composed, reacting moderately well to situations that most people would describe as stressful. Novelty, variety, and change spice up your life and make you a curious, imaginative, and creative person. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

A good few days

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 04:57:53 GMT

Hiya all,

As the title above suggests, it's been a good few days. Some further retardation from Alienware notwithstanding, I would have to say the highlights outweigh the lowlights, which when you think about it, is really the condition to which we all strive anyway. So, in that way, it's life affirming that I spent basically all of my time just goofing off.

Thursday night's Survivor premiere was everything you hope for when you slow down to get a good look at a fire ravaged barn on the side of some non-descript road in Kansas.  Everything that could possibly be hilariously bad about splitting teams up along racial lines actually happened, and they still played it off like it was some radically ingenious idea and not some desperate plea to pull the emergency break lever on the ratings freefall the esteemed reality show has been experiencing. I can't really get into the highlights without sounding like an insensitive goon myself, but let's just say that there was a suspicious over-abundance of anything stereotypical that made its way into the final cut. As in "f'real" and "we gotta represent" or "we latinos come from a tropical background, so we..." etc. And you know I'm up for watching some unintentional funny. Think "Snakes on a Plane" but without the self-awareness of paper-thin premise.

Friday was a pretty good day at work, featuring this girl sitting next to me who cracked actually funny jokes that were relevant to the discussion of the "Rape of Persephone" (Mythology in Literature class). So preferable to the usual fare I get which is some guy looking up lesbian porn on his laptop, or two girls talking about "OMGZ we got soooo drunk at the party last night... who did you wake up with".

Then in the evening, M and K and I went to the recital of world-renowned organist Ben Van Oosten. Now this may not sound like the rockin time you would imagine, but believe me, this dude was the shizzle. He played some of the most complicated pieces I could imagine, most with passages that required weaving in and out of 3 or even 4 layer polyphonic melody with complete perfection. Many passages from the Mendellsohn Concerto or the amazing Widor organ symphony (which lasted about a half an hour) could probably only have been played properly by a handful of people in the world. A lot of it took my breath away, because to see this guy perform with passion and feeling with both hands and both feet and make everything sound effortlessly brilliant was inspiring. honestchick and I even ran into him on the stairs while he was on his way down from the balcony. We were talking about the performance, of course, and he's just there at the landing. Being the suave s.o.b. I am, I extended a hand to him and said "bravo, outstanding" and he shook it and looked honestly gracious and good-natured (though maybe he was just happy not to be pressed into having to speak English).

Tonight, I got to go see "The Black Dahlia" which was pretty damn good. It's long and involved, but it's worth it. Everybody looks really good in the period mode, esp. Scarlett Johanssen and Aaron Eckhart. Of course, Josh Hartnett seems like he's made to have his hair brilliantined all the way back to the 1940s on any occasion, so he fit right in as well. I wouldn't have previously thought I could put up with two hours of Hartnett narrating, but he did a great job with all of the "hard-boiled" meets "film-noir" dialog that added just the right amount of linguistic flavor to the movie. There's some disturbing imagery, but the devices that propel the characters through the layers of mystery do not feel artificial at all, and what brutality there is makes perfect sense at the end of the day.

Well, that's about it. I did get to see both Iowa State and our Salukis in football action today. Just a fluke I saw the Cyclones at all... they just happened to be up on the TV at the Rec Ctr in time for me to see them lose a heartbreaker. SIU fared better, beating a much higher ranked team, which made several people in this building cheer.

See? happiness all around!

Fun with computers, a bedtime story

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 14:19:25 GMT

So, this is what I've been up to the last couple of days after waiting two weeks to get a replacement part for my computer:

Oh, getting my computer back up and running has been quite the journey. It turns out the new video card wasn't also defective -- it had a slightly loose screw mounting (where you twist in the knobs that hold the cable onto the video card) and this was preventing the dvi connection from sitting on there tightly. So that's why I didn't get any beeps during post for no video card. So then after that, windows registry gets corrupted because the card they sent me is a slightly different version than what they had sent, and somehow, because the chipset is slightly different and was running off the wrong software, I had to reinstall windows, or just put up with intermittent problems with display. So the guy gave me a workaround that would last long enough to get a backup to the second hard drive accomplished. In fairness, he did actually stay on the phone for nearly two hours with me working through all of this.

I'd been planning on a reinstall anyway, becuase I haven't done that since I got the thing, two years ago. So, I go to use the "Alien Respawn" system, which installs a Ghost Image, wiping out your hard drive, reformatting, and installing the "original install and settings" "automatically". Of course, this image is corrupt and the DVD unusable, so AFTER REFORMATTING AND ERASING THE HARD DRIVE, I had no original settings Image. Grrrrr about sums up my feelings. The guy at this point said that they would refund the money for the Respawn.

So then, we reinstall windows. Twice... (steam shooting out of my ears and nose at this point) because the first time, for some inexplicable reason, it installed but un-bootably. Second time worked, and at least the windows thing was a recovery CD so it installs all of the correct stuff for things like Serial ATA, etc. that are custom on this system (rather than me having to select a bunch of stuff and go through like 8 wizards for new hardware). So that's great...

Then the guy tells me that it's time to "install the chipset drivers and onboard LAN drivers" from the "Alien Utilities CD". This cd does not autoload, and has one folder with wallpapers on it. The guy is just speechless at this point. I honestly think he mopped his brow with his tie and took a sip from a flask.

Alienware Dude: Well, you can, um... download the drivers from our webiste
Me: won't that be difficult without LAN drivers
AD: probably
Me: So, the drivers to get on the internet and look for the drivers to get on the internet...
AD: Are on the internet. <pause> yes, I can see that would be a bit of an issue.
Me: yeah.
AD: I'll make a note of that...

Now I don't mind getting a refurbished card that needs a screw tightened, and I was planning a reinstall anyway, but I was pretty torked that everything that was supposed to help resolve these issues, things I paid for. But, since I just wanted to get off the damn phone, I went to my roommate's computer which is slower than your basic abacus, and downloaded these drivers to my flash drive, installed them, restarted several times, and then was underway.

Or so I thought. Last night I discovered that you shouldn't install Norton Internet Security BEFORE YOU UPDATE WINDOWS to Service pack 2. And so the whole thing went kablooie and I thought, well, I'm not that far along... I'll just Re-re-reinstall windows and do everything in order, one by one. What could possibly go wrong?

All of this is working just fine except that when I re-re-reinstall windows this time, it won't read the flash drive at all. nothing. It sees other USB devices just fine. So, I go to all the trouble of going back to my roommate's computer, transfer the files from my flash drive to a cd (which takes FOREVER on this paleolithic Dell) and in the meantime, think, what the hell, I'll try again... put in the flash drive and it works.

So finally, a mere 7.5 hours after putting in the video card, I can start rebuilding the system. Which itself is a bit of a chore, but at least it will run cleaner with the brand spanking new version of everything I use, and nothing hanging around that I don't really use anymore and don't need (like all the "helpful" utilities for the sound card that you don't need if you're not mixing sound for a movie or composing a symphony via a midi-connected synthesizer) and should be starting with a clean slate registry and driver-wise.

It always seems to be deadly to go trying to reinstall windows, but this time was the worst. Would have been better without the fuckover from Alienware on the restoration software...

At least I got to out last night to watch our hot-ass volleyball team sweep SEMO. And only ONE MORE DAY until SURVIVOR: POLITICALLY INCORRECT begins. Can't wait!

Long time no post

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 04:49:10 GMT

So, flora_allgreen and Dan weren't able to come out tonight for a movie, so I finally went to go see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest.  I got to sit there alone on what was apparently couples night for 13-15 year Tiger Beat subscribers to bring their boyfriends out to a movie. So, thanks for that, you tools! Girls cheered Johnny Depp when he came on. They clapped and giggled when he said funny things. They applauded the ending. But even so, it was a good time.

I was surprised by how good it was. Am I the only one that sees this as a great adventure movie, part of a great adventure series? Most of the other people I've talked to thought it was too long, or didn't have enough Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom content, which I didn't see, since it seemed like there was a lot of both and not enough Keira Knightley. And most people I talked to didn't like the set-up for the third movie at the end, but I thought that came off really well. Not to give anything away to like the other two people on the continent who haven't seen it yet... everybody should know there's another coming... but I did think the long involved events that led up to that point also naturally led to the set-up and the surprise especially since the whole series has a major "can't escape your past, and it can't escape you" theme to it. For such a long movie, I didn't really feel like it was never going to end like I did with Underworld 2. It was very entertaining, and was constantly well-conceived artistically. And maybe people will think I need the short bus, but I think the plot and characters are very well suited to each other and the whole thing manages to straddle the tight-rope of high adventure swashbuckling and mock epic.

And... Got to see Jack Davenport, who plays Steve on Coupling, the greatest ever sit-com, reprise his role as Commodore Norrington as well as Stellan Skaarsgard, who is a long way from his usual serious roles.    Loved all the music, too, especially the re-arranged theme from Bach's B minor fugue. Using that as a signal whenever the Flying Dutchman showed up was pretty genius.

So anyway, the movie inspired me to share and to check in to see if people actually liked it.

And for the women of Ames... those who haven't been transplanted in... If you're reading this, I want you to know that I've been thinking about you and hoping your situation gets better, and that the walking case-study in Adult Maturation Disorder manages to get a grip.   If there's anything I can do to entertain or distract you, let me know.